The Futtock

I signed up to Talk Talk broadband the other day. I was already with them as a phone customer, and I must say I am pretty happy with the service considering the very low price we pay.

As for broadband though I have been dragging my heels for a long time over this. It is “free” but the word free always worries me. Nothing and I mean nothing comes without a cost of some kind or another. Free is always a lie.

But… I did it. I was sold. I would save around £15 or $30 a month and I went for it. Firstly the free became £20 for a wireless modem. OK I could have done it with my old modem but I needed to get wireless as the wires in question have been driving my wife mad. £20 is not too bad either for a modem. I was told the modem would take 7 days to reach me.

The next day my old modem broke. It was a kind of zen/karma/yingyang thing. It had gone though years of dropping, bashing and tea, and only when it realised it was going to be retired did it give up the ghost, may it rest in peace. This left me in rather a pickle however. I had at least another 6 days to go before my new modem would arrive.

Should I spend £50 on a new modem just for 6 days or wait? Most of my design work is web based but it was so very very hard to pay £50 for something that was going to last 6 days. It was a false economy of course and I knew it. I probably would lose a lot more than £50 by not having one, but it was still hard.

I lasted 5 days! I bought one knowing that a new one was meant to arrive the next day. I know it is insane but I got an important phone call offering me work that had to be done urgently.

Back to Talk Talk though. Did the modem arrive on time? Nope. No surprise either.

Let me define “free” for you. This is the definition large companies use, not us normal people who can read a dictionary. To them it means, no money up front but make it back in other ways and at the same time deliver an awful service justified by the fact that it is “Free”. In the case of Talk Talk, I am now bound to an 18 month contract. I can not go to another company for my phone service. This is not free the way I think of free. I was assured that the price would not go up during the 18 month contract but the guy who told me is a salesman and he gets a commission for every sale. We shall just have to see about price rises.

I phoned them up about the missing modem and this is where things got interesting. Of course I was put on hold. I held, and held and held. When I get through, I am told to phone another number. Been there done that a million times. “Free” is starting to cost me in lost work time. I call the other number and guess what? I am put on hold.

Eventually I talk to a women. She is Indian and obviously in India and although she speaks very good English it is just hard for her to understand me and visa versa.

Anyway… She tells mes the modem was sent and should not take more than a couple of days to reach me. Great thinks I, but then she starts to tell me how they have run out of stock of the modem and are waiting for a new batch. I raise an eyebrow and ask her what that has to do with mine as it has already been sent. She confirms that it has been sent, but they are now out of stock. This goes round and round a few times, and in the end I just smile. I know it has not been sent and I know she is very confused. I thank her and hang up. Oh well. At least the new modem I bought was coming in handy. It arrived about another week later, and looks nice. I ain’t using it though. It was provided by a company that does “Free”. It is more trouble than it is worth. I am sticking with the modem I had to buy. It just works.

Oh by the way. This information is free. (unless you take into account the time spent reading it, your connection fees, software and computer costs. The cost of downloading those adverts on this page, etc. etc. etc.)

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