The Futtock

 My PC has a temper. It gets upset and you can tell when the hard drive drones on and on like some grumbling old man. It just stops and grumbles about all the work I make it do. Grumble grumble stop… grumble stop… Just when I think I can carry on it grumbles a little more.

You get to know your PC. You know when to wait and when to keep going. Women on the other hand have no idea. I hate it when a woman uses my PC. I feel for the poor old man. If things start to slow down a woman begins clicking, and every click is adding to the tasks that the poor PC has to deal with. It’s grumbling away and she is clicking and getting upset, and I am gritting my teeth because every click is hurting me. I know the PC just wants a break. A little chance to catch up but oh no. The woman clicks some more as though that will speed it up. She tries clicking harder. That gets me the most; clicking harder. No! What gets me the most is double clicking web links. They only need one click. The hyper link takes one, not two, but the woman double clicks anyway.

After a while the woman turns to me and tells me that the PC is not working. By the sounds of it it is working. Working very hard to try and catch up with all the clicking that has gone one. Twenty windows open up. There is a nasty sound like the hard drive is having a heart attack and then grind, grind, grind and that fucking message telling me there has been an error pops up and do I want to tell Microsoft about it?

Yes I do. A woman used my computer!

There must be some bug fix for this. Perhaps some service pack. When logging in to Windows, you should state your sex. If woman, only allow 1 click per 10 seconds. I know, it’s a hack, but it should get around 90% of the problem.

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